Been A Long Time But...

   My last post was about my back and how it sucked. Well it has gotten better but my right hip and back are a continued problem. I have had physical therapy and I had a cortisone injection in my right hip neither one did me much good. 

   In February 2015 I started having a lot of pain on the right side of my head so severe that I went to the E.R. three times. I was finally diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia. It is a nerve that you have on the side of your had that can flare up from time to time and cause agonizing pain. I was diagnosed by my neurologist in March. When it starts to hurt I have to take a seizure medication that makes the pain stop. 

  Over the last two months now I have been dealing with gastrointestinal issues. The problems I was having were so severe I couldn't leave my house. The problem has stopped for the most part so my doctor thinks it was a virus but I just had it happen again recently so I am seeing him tomorrow to find out what to do now.

Follow up

  I made it through the zoo and now I hurt so much that I want to cry. If I could I would take a muscle relaxer and a pain pill and I would go to bed. After I have dinner I will lay on my bed on an ice pack. I really hope the ice pack will help.

 I am supposed to go to the grocery store tomorrow. I don't think that is going to happen. I have a hard time walking now. My hips and lower back are killing me. I guess I'll have to see how I feel tomorrow.

Will I Make it....

    Tomorrow I am going to try to walk the Portland,Oregon zoo. This will be a long walk and I don't know how my body is going to handle it. I have a really hard time walking around the grocery store so this is going to be a challenge.

  I could use a wheelchair but I don't want to feel disabled like that. I know that I'm disabled to an extent. I can't stand for long periods and I can't sit for long periods do to my back and right hip. I am going to just walk through the zoo and rest when need be.

I am doing this as a surprise to my daughter. She has been wanting to go to the zoo all summer. I hope she will enjoy it. I told her we are going to Portland so we can go to a art store my honey likes. She whined about the whole thing.

I will write again in a few days to tell you how the trip went.

Welcome to Menopause

I am 33 and have been put into Menopause which sucks. I had my right ovary out do to pain and cysts. Since my left one was taken out a year or two before it I was thrown head first into Menopause.

The hot flashes suck. It is a hot unlike you have ever felt before. It is so hard to explain but I will just say that it feels like you are on fire inside. Thank God for hormones because with out them I would be suffering through the hot flashes every day. The hormones help take away some of the hot flashes but not all unless you are have better luck than me which most people do.

The only plus about not having my ovaries anymore is that the abdominal pain is gone.

Miserable life

You know there are days where you think how can life get any worse and then it does. I was having pain in my lower abdomen for most of the month of November then all of a sudden my back starts hurting really bad on November 20th a week before Thanksgiving of all things. I end up in the e.r. on the 23rd and from then on walking,moving and sitting is just miserable. 

I know I have M.S. which is crappy and I also have fibromyalgia on top of that. I have never hurt so bad in my life as I have this past month. Today I actually got dressed and did my makeup so I feel kind of good but as the day has gone on I am feeling more and more crappy. 

I got the shot Lupron which is a medicine that slows the estrogen in the body and will shut down my one and only ovary to see if that is causing my pelvic pain and possibly my back pain. I guess I will have to see how it goes, so far it has been less than a week and no change yet.

I have been so depressed these last few months. I have just been feeling sorry for myself and I am stressed by the fact that I can't take care of my family the way I should. My honey has been so great but has also been hard to deal with sometimes because he wants sex and I don't .

I hope sooner than later I will be better.

Sex Sucks

I never in my life thought that I would ever say that sex sucks but it does. I have come to the conclusion that I hate sex not the act it self but the fact that it is a huge part of a relationship. I am not into sex like I used to be considering that it hurts me just about every time I do it. I love my man so much and I wish that I could give it to him every time he wants it which is a lot. I just am not in the mood for it when he is most of the time and when he wants to and I don't then I get a guilt trip. 

This morning he wanted to and I told him that I am just not in the mood because I have been fighting a cold for two weeks now and I don't feel sexy and don't feel like doing it. When we do have sex most of the time it hurts so bad that I can't help him finish so then I get a guilt trip for that too. I don't know what makes me hurt because it could be a number of things. My M.S. could be doing it then there is the Endometriosis that can cause problems. My doctor does not know why I burn inside when having sex and so they can't help me.

My man has no idea how much it hurts me that I don't enjoy sex and that I can't make him happy. I am just meant to have sex when I don't want to and that is not fair. I guess that I will lose him because of this and I will just die alone. I don't know what to do. I guess I could just suck it up and do it.

I shouldn't have to suck it up. Why can't he just be understanding. Why do men have to be all about them and not about how there partner feels. Right now I am being treated with the silent treatment because I didn't want to have sex.

+Pain Pain Go Away

It has been a long time since I actually wrote anything new because I thought no one was reading it but I can now see that there are at least some people who are looking at what I write.

Well as of late my body has been hurting on a regular basis. My body is having its own mind lately which really sucks. My legs and arms have been hurting everyday. One night I was sitting watching t.v. and my body started to hurt in my lower left arm and by the time I was done watching t.v. my whole body was hurting. It felt like I had worked out for hours that day because all my muscles had tensed up and felt like all of them were going to pull on their own.

I have been watching what I am eating and I have lost about 15lbs. I am going to start mixing in some kind of exercise routine. I hope that by doing some exercise that my body won't hurt as much.

I recently found that I have a swollen lymph node on my collar bone and so far I have had a x-ray and blood work that have turned out good but the thing that bothers me is that it is still swollen. I read that M.S. can cause lymph nodes to swell. I guess I will just have to watch it and see what happens. I wish that when something bothers you about your health that your doctor would care more.

I think all doctors care about is the money they make and not actually about the patient. There used to be doctors out there that cared about the patient more than the money and I believe I still have one doctor who cares like that and he is my Neurologist.