Do You Feel Guilty? I Do.

I write this blog thinking of all the people out there men and women a like that have illnesses that are not noticed like the flu or something like Cancer where you have to get Chemotherapy. I get tired on a daily basis and I just want to take a nap but then I feel so bad for wanting to do that when I haven't really done much to cause my fatigue but having Multiple Sclerosis causes bouts of tiredness. So as I go on day to day I have my bouts with being tired and also not feeling well. I always feel like I am saying something hurts or doesn't feel good.

I know that my hubby does not try to make me feel bad on purpose but when he makes comments about how much I sleep or says something about me not feeling good again it makes me feel bad. Being with someone who has no idea how you feel is hard because you are going through something that they have no clue about. You can say how you feel a million times over  but they still won't understand how your body feels on a regular basis. He tells me to do something about my health which I know I need to do but it is so hard to figure out where I should begin. I have lost a little weight and done so by cutting out some foods and watching what I eat and how much. I wish that my hubby could understand what I feel like on a daily basis and know that I hate feeling this way but I really can't change it.

Sometimes I wish that I would run a fever or maybe throw up so that he can see that I don't just say I don't feel well. I wish I could give him more evidence of how I feel. So to any of you out there who feel like I do just know that you are not alone.

Now I Have ........

Well a few weeks back I had a Endoscopy done to look for what could be causing me to have chest pains lets just say nothing came of that. Except for the fact that I had chest pains afterward and I had to go to the Emergency Room which is always my favorite place to waste time. When I was at the E.R. they did a CT of my chest and they didn't find anything wrong with my chest but they did accidently find that I have something on my Thyroid.

So now they found something on my Thyroid which means I had to go to my doctor and then he had to refer me for a Ultrasound of my neck. The Ultrasound shows three nodules on my Thyroid one is about half an inch and the others are real small . So now you are probably asking what does she have to go through now well now I have to have a needle put into my neck so that they can biopsy the nodule or nodules but I have to wait for a month before I can find out anything about it. Doctors don't seem to understand that when you have a lump of any kind that you want to get it checked right away because it kind of just puts your happy life on hold until you know that it is not bad..

From what I understand Thyroid Cancer is very rare and happens more in men than in women. I think there is like a 7% chance that it could be cancer so I am not horribly concerned but still it sucks having to wait so long to find out what the conclusion is to this chapter in my life.

On top of that I have to go and see my Neurologist and have a MRI to see if I have lesions on my brain from the M.S. that I have. My life is so full of doctors appointments. Sometimes I hate being me.