I never in my life thought that I would ever say that sex sucks but it does. I have come to the conclusion that I hate sex not the act it self but the fact that it is a huge part of a relationship. I am not into sex like I used to be considering that it hurts me just about every time I do it. I love my man so much and I wish that I could give it to him every time he wants it which is a lot. I just am not in the mood for it when he is most of the time and when he wants to and I don't then I get a guilt trip.
This morning he wanted to and I told him that I am just not in the mood because I have been fighting a cold for two weeks now and I don't feel sexy and don't feel like doing it. When we do have sex most of the time it hurts so bad that I can't help him finish so then I get a guilt trip for that too. I don't know what makes me hurt because it could be a number of things. My M.S. could be doing it then there is the Endometriosis that can cause problems. My doctor does not know why I burn inside when having sex and so they can't help me.
My man has no idea how much it hurts me that I don't enjoy sex and that I can't make him happy. I am just meant to have sex when I don't want to and that is not fair. I guess that I will lose him because of this and I will just die alone. I don't know what to do. I guess I could just suck it up and do it.
I shouldn't have to suck it up. Why can't he just be understanding. Why do men have to be all about them and not about how there partner feels. Right now I am being treated with the silent treatment because I didn't want to have sex.
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